Pauline Chalamet Cannot Get to Sleep (2024)

Forget 9-to-5. Mothering knows no schedule—and often it feels more like 5-to-9 and everything in between. In this series, we look at the hectic, messy, sometimes beautiful, often frustrating enterprise of being a mother—and maintaining a life of your own. Consider it a “day in the life” for the forgotten hours. Read previous installments here. Today we look at the life of new mom Pauline Chalamet, who splits her time between Los Angeles and Paris and stars in The Sex Lives of College Girls; season 3 is out today.

5:55 a.m.

Post baby feed. I am discovering that it is possible to constantly feel thirsty. I cannot believe some people are able to wake up now and get their days started. I have never been a morning person and refuse to wake up early unless it’s for work. And even then, I’m a total zombie for the first few hours. I’ve been told that I might become a morning person with a baby? So far, nothing has changed.

6:05 a.m.

I just went to bathroom and saw that the dog was sleeping on the couch. I’m too tired to kick him off. I also feel bad for him. He doesn’t know what’s going on. I was very strict when training him and he’s a pretty good boy, but I think the baby has thrown him a curve ball. He’s been acting out a little. Verrrry needy. A friend of mine told me that she thinks it’s because I carried him too much as a puppy and he believes he’s a human. Yikes.

7 a.m.

I still haven’t fallen back asleep. Just one of those nights…I keep thinking of this video. I’m wondering how Zach Woods was so accurately able to tap into my brain’s inner monologue… Also I’m ruminating over the fact that I have a few bones to pick with advice that is often given regarding postpartum sleep. First: My body does not seem to release some magical hormone that makes it easier to fall right back asleep after night feeds. Sometimes I’m able to fall back asleep but most of the time, not so much. Second: “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” What?! How?! I just cannot do this.

7:15 a.m.

Baby makes lots of weird breathing noises. Still thinking about how I’m not yet asleep. I’m going to listen to a Jack Kornfield lecture. Jack has such a calming voice and I love his stories.

9:10 a.m.

I must’ve fallen asleep because baby woke me up. I feel okay sleep-wise. Maybe there’s a hormone that makes it possible to function on an amount of sleep I never knew possible? It’s so satisfying to pick the lint out of baby’s toes. I wonder why as adults we don’t get as much lint stuck between our toes? Is it because our toes separate more easily?

9:20 a.m.

Morning walk through the Buttes Chaumont. This is my favorite park in Paris. Alice Guy Blaché, the first fiction filmmaker (yes, the first fiction filmmaker was a lady), used to film in studios that were next to the park. They’ve since closed, but I often think of her taking a lunch break here.She probably ate most of her meals at a proper table with a fork and knife. I love Alice’s story. She moved to the United States with her husband and she ended up creating her own studio, Solax Studios, in Fort Lee, New Jersey. This is where all the movie studios were before moving out west to California. Hers was the only one that didn’t make it out west. One of my favorites of her films.

9:50 a.m.

Breakfast pour moi: Oatmeal with chia seeds and goji berries, hot chocolate (with whole milk—only ever whole milk), and an egg. (Six minutes once the water is boiling makes the perfect egg.) I’ll probably also make a dandelion tea that will stay steeping for a long time and that I’ll remember to drink when I stumble upon it much later. I don’t drink coffee. I used to drink it black but about four years ago I stopped. It makes me shaky. I wish I wanted to drink it because it smells so good. I’ve also stopped drinking caffeinated tea. Not on purpose, it just seems to have happened.

10:15 a.m.

We bought a new toilet yesterday. It’s the first time I’ve ever bought a toilet. The toilet itself is great except it’s not the same size as the old one and now the doors next to the toilet won’t close. Also one of my Jason Polan posters ripped out of the wall. I don’t think the poster has to do with the new toilet but it just seems like there’s a lot that needs fixing in this tiny toilet room. I will not have time to deal with any of this today.

10:20 a.m.

Reminder to make sure I left enough pumped milk for the babysitter. Pumping is a whole…thing. On the one hand it’s great because, it gives me some freedom. But I’m not yet sure how I feel about it. Having a baby is a crash course in the importance of reframing expectations. There’s how I think I’m going to feel about something versus what it is like when I am living it. I guess this is good life lesson, pumping aside.

10:30 a.m.

Getting dressed! I debate between a new pair of Sézane shoes or my trusted Valentino boots. I opt for the latter, but I wear a new Sézane sweater. And jeans from Rouje. I often try to understand why I care more about what I wear whenever I’m in Paris. I think back to my friend, Capucine, who at 15 years old said to me, “That’s what your wearing?” It didn’t feel judgmental. It was more about respect. I still can’t quite put my finger on it. But it is true that I don’t think I’ve ever worn sweatpants out of the house in Paris. When I’m in LA, I feel like that’s my dress code.

10:50 a.m.

JUST managed to get out the door. I am always running late. ALWAYS. I don’t know how to change this! I have tried so many things: changing appointment times on my calendar, setting reminders, setting alarms, laying out my clothes the night before, preparing an easy grab-and-go breakfast…. Nothing works. Are some people just late-for-lifers? I think yes. I used to be able to get away with it. I would leave at the very last minute possible to anything and arrive, at most, five minutes late. But with the baby I am now genuinely a late person.

11:15a.m.

In preproduction for a short film/video that my life and work partner Rhys and I are developing and making for PATOU. I’m very impressed by this café that exists at the SOLAB company office. The Gummy Films office in New York isn’t quite at this level yet. But we do have a great view.

5 p.m.

Once you use a stroller to grocery shop, there’s no going back. I can now buy TWO OR THREE 1L cold pressed organic olive oil bottles that are on sale because I’ll just wheel them home! I don’t have to carry them. This is an example of doing something that makes me feel like I’m winning. Winning at what? I don’t know. But I have a newfound love of grocery shopping with a stroller.

6 p.m.

It’s book club day with my friend Zoe. This week we’re talking about Tremor by Teju Cole. I enjoyed quite a few things about this book, notably the chapters where the POV changes and the fact it is a meditation on Nigerian music and culture. Generally I have a hot/cold relationship with contemporary fiction. It is very in vogue to find books where the timelines jump around. I tend to gravitate more toward a traditional development of story.

6:45 p.m.

Khela and Dali arrive for glam. I have some virtual press to do for the season three premiere of The Sex Lives of College Girls. The theme is pajama party and I will happily be adhering to the dress code.

8:15 p.m.

Downing delicious chili that my aunt made. She told us to freeze it and save it for a day when we really needed it, but I’ve made the executive decision that I really need it right now. Added a dollop of crème fraiche and shredded gruyère. Chili is something that I never think of making but whenever I eat it, I LOVE it. It feels healing and healthy. Kind of like chicken noodle soup. Again, another thing I never make but I love to eat. Whenever I make soups, I tend to like to blend them.

8:45 p.m.

Zoooooooom time. I was a big Skyper before Zoom. But now it feels like Skype is the old elementary school friend who I’ve outgrown and is just a distant memory. Skype had a cool dialing tone; it was a melody that made me want to dance.

9 p.m.

That was the fastest Zoom I’ve ever done in my life. It’s 9 p.m. which is so early! I love it! When people ask me what time I go to bed with the baby, I often say 9:30 p.m. But in reality, that maybe has happened once. Our household goes to bed late. I will mention that it is easier to go to bed early in LA. Paris, like New York, is a city that goes to bed later. Anyway, I’d like to finish reading a script and journal a bit since I didn’t get to this morning. I will likely only be able to do one of the two. That’s another big change. I used to have such strict routines. A big part of that was journaling every day. Right now, my last entry is from November 6th… And, well, this can count as today!

10 p.m.

Bath! Epsom salts! The best! Epsom salts are less of a thing in Paris but I have found the store near me that sells them. Sitting in the bath I often stare at the colorful tiles. I love them. There aren’t any windows in here and they help make up for that. Sometimes I like to quiz myself to see if I can remember the color order of tiles. I’ve also gotten really into liniment as moisturizer. I hadn’t really heard of liniment but in France I was taught to use this instead of diaper wipes. And I am obsessed. It’s essentially a mix of olive oil and water that you can use to clean but it also moisturizes. I hear that you can use it on burns. (Thankfully) I have yet to try that….